canaydian:

you’re under arrest for being so darn cute! haha! just joking we know you killed that man 

butthorn:

I just attended the best passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “You get out of it this time Jesus”

drtanner-sfw:

mysteryplantgirl:

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

image

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LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

this makes my heart smile

He is so proud of his onion son.

cheatcommandos:

intosnarkness:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat

and it got upgraded to first class

without me

i hate being that guy who adds onto a text post but my dad is a cellist and he has to buy a seat for his cello every time he has to fly somewhere for a show and the cello has become such a valued customer for airlines that we regularly get mail addressed to “Cello Friesen” for airfare deals and stuff

pipitstrelle:

oh my god i have to draw you

image

oh my god

ragingpaige:

omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”

nicoleanell:

theguilteaparty:

reindeerplaydate:

forfuturereferenceonly:

kowka:

haraii:

christmas eve what about christmas adam

happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists

Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.

Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam

Christmas Adam: December 23rd. Comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying.

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR DECEMBER 23rd TO POST THIS.

dancing-through-brooklyn:

I was reading my great grandmother’s high school yearbook from 1931 and there’s a comment about each student and they are so fucking sassy with their comments

yn