You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.
We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”
I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”
He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.
”—Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals (x)
commander shepard rattling off monologues from human scifi movies every time she has to make a speech and the humans in the team just snorting under their breath while the aliens are like “wow did she just make this up out of nowhere? this is amazing”
shep: “Today is our independence day” Ash: *dies of laughter* Vega: you can’t be serious. Is she serious? Joker: the brave heart one is the best. Her Mel Gibson is getting really good.
When I say “boys are dumb” what I really mean is “boys have been raised in a patriarchal society that forces them into an incorrect and problematic view of masculinity that not only forces them to strip away valuable virtues from themselves, like patience and gentleness, but also forces them them to view and treat women in unhealthy ways that devalues women as people and makes them into objects purely for a man’s benefit”
for athos, love is trust. the common theme in accounts of his past seems to be that his breaking point was not simply the murder of his brother, but milady not being who she had claimed to be. when she broke the faith he had in her, she broke his heart. years later, athos is clearly at least somewhat interested in ninon, but remains guarded and almost skittish around her overtures. (he smiles when saying he’s better prepared to fight her off this time, but it still doesn’t seem so far from the truth – when she touches him, he looks almost pained by the gestures of affection and tenderness.) athos is reluctant to share his secrets again, but finally does so with his fellow musketeers – perhaps the clearest sign that he loves them more than anything else in the world.
for porthos, love is friendship and adoration. he is warm and big-hearted and compassionate and when he loves he truly sees the other person with a clarity athos and aramis sometimes lack. porthos knows his lovers as they are, rather than an idealized version or public presentation of themselves. with flea and alice, he is friendly and respectful and almost clueless at times; he never makes assumptions of someone’s interest even when it would pretty damn safe to do so. porthos loves with his whole heart and nothing less, which is one of the reasons he’s had to choose between his romantic interests and his life with the musketeers.
for aramis, love is worship. he tries to be whatever his lover wants from him – the daring, fearless lover for adele, brave martyred soldier for anne, the settled husband and father for isabele. he becomes so thoroughly wrapped up in them and their desires that he can be blinded not only to what he wants but to basic practicality; courting richelieu’s mistress was an awful risk to take, he would have been a terrible husband, and nothing good was ever going to come of his affair with the queen. aramis is romantic to a fault, impulsive and reckless; his trysts may be ill-advised but he throws himself into them with endless passion and enthusiasm.
you steal every kill you charge head first into battle ayou ccept no substitutes vroomy vroomy boomy smash fuck yeah fuck gravity fuck reason fuck it all motherfuckers HAHAHA PUNCHIN HOLES IN YOUR BODY
D’ARTAGNAN IS TRYING TO SQUEEZE BY PORTHOS IN A NARROW STREET AND IT’S LIKE THE UH EXCUSE ME OH NO YOU FIRST UH OH THANKS
EXCEPT EVEN MORE AWKWARD BECAUSE THE WIND BLOWS PORTHOS’ CLOAK AROUND D’ARTAGNAN AND HE GETS WRAPPED UP LIKE A FUCKING NOOB BURRITO
I CAN’T EVEN DO IT JUSTICE JUST
But at the street gate, Porthos was talking with the soldier on guard. Between the two talkers there was just enough room for a man to pass. D’Artagnan thought it would suffice for him, and he sprang forward like a dart between them. But d’Artagnan had reckoned without the wind. As he was about to pass, the wind blew out Porthos’s long cloak, and d’Artagnan rushed straight into the middle of it. Without doubt, Porthos had reasons for not abandoning this part of his vestments, for instead of quitting his hold on the flap in his hand, he pulled it toward him, so that d’Artagnan rolled himself up in the velvet by a movement of rotation explained by the persistency of Porthos.
"Bless me!" cried Porthos, making strong efforts to disembarrass himself of d’Artagnan, who was wriggling about his back; "you must be mad to run against people in this manner."
AND PORTHOS IS EMBARRASSED BC D’ARTAGNAN GOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO SEE THAT HIS CLOAK’S EMBELLISHMENT ISN’T REAL GOLD SO HE GETS ALL PISSY AND CHALLENGES HIM TO A FIGHT FOR “HONOR”
THIS WHOLE BOOK SO FAR IS ABOUT MEN FEELING LIKE THEY’RE GETTING LAUGHED AT AND STARTING FIGHTS ABOUT IT